Lettersssssssss

So for this week and next week, every single class I teach is the last class I teach. Does that make sense? I teach 4-6 classes per day and I teach every class once every two weeks. So yes, I have over 3,000 students. I mean, it's fine, right? After teaching the Christmas lesson last week, I really wanted to conclude everything solidly by making sure they know I love them and want to remember them. 

I asked them to write letters to me about themselves--to be creative, tell me their 'favorites,' use color, draw pictures, etc.

Here are some gems I received:

- "I want to fly in the sky."
- "It is important to remember: I love you!"
- "My English teacher say: 'I am her friend. We are very Good friend.' We are your students, but we want to and you friend, too. Ok?"
- "You are a beautiful girl. We are very like you. You are my friend."
- "I like to you."
- "YOU KNOW.!!!"
- "We very love you"
- "Remember me..you are very cute! I'm a girl!"
- "I want to have a travel to America. Because I have a good American friend in there, her name is Miss Marissa. She can speak a little Chinese and she is 19 years old. She like travel, art, her family, her friends, Chinese. I like her first lesson. Because she is very cute. DO YOU REMEMBER ME? MISS MARISSA"

There'll be pictures to come later. 

And I wish I had more than three minutes to write about how much I love them, but I don't. Due to technology failures, computer time is limited haha. No problem, though. I love my students with all my heart. They are so close to God--more than anyone else on this earth. I love them.

Ten Minute Post

So what words are there to say in a ten minute post?

The past two weeks, I've been doing some introductory Christmas in my classes. Each day I add and subtract to my lesson plan until it's really solid, and I feel like I've gotten Christmas down pretty well (now that I only have two more days teaching this lesson plan).

I start out the lesson by either playing Christmas music or this delightful video that's a song of English people trying to speak Chinese, both of which they enjoy. But then I round it off with jingle bells, which they know a Chinese version of (ding ding dong ding ding dong, li something something something..they don't know the rest, I don't speak Chinese--YET, it's just a hot mess). Then I teach them the English version of it. We then go through the Who What When Where Why and How of Christmas, starting with 'songs' under 'What'.

I go Christmas caroling to four of my students' desks, starting with Jingle Bells (they help), then We Wish You A Merry Christmas (they know a little bit of it), then Frosty the Snowman. Before the last song, though, we talk about the Why.

Do you know why we have Christmas?
...........
Do you know...Yesu?
Ohhhhhh!!! Yesssss!
His name in English is Jesus Christ. See? Christ? Christmas?
Ohhhhhhh!
We have Christmas because it is Jesus Christ's birthday.
Ohhhhhhh!
So I love Christmas because I love FUN Christmas songs, but I also love Christmas because some songs are quiet. They make me feel peace in my heart. Do you know peace?
......
Ping'an.
Ohhhh!!! Yes I know!!
Some songs are very quiet. Like this song.

I then sing them Silent Night.

I'm not entirely sure how it works out, but they're sweethearts and applaud after I finish a verse, but I motion for them to stay quiet as I play another song by Cori Connors.

The lyrics:

"Heavenly choirs must have had children
Singing along when they came to the earth
Jesus I know loves little children
So I imagine they sang at his birth

Alleluia, alleluia
Had I been there I would have sung
Alleluia, alleluia
Praise to the Lord, praise to His Son
Praise to the Lord, praise to His Son

(Children join) Heavenly choirs must have had children
Singing along when they came to the earth
Jesus I know loves little children
So I imagine they sang at His birth

Alleluia, alleluia
Had I been there I would have sung
Alleluia, alleluia
Praise to the Lord, praise to His Son
Praise to the Lord, praise to His Son

My children listen in silence, as enthralled with Cori Connors' voice as I am.

Beautiful, yes?
YES!
Do you feel peace?
Mmmmm. (how they say yes)
This is why I love Christmas. I love fun Christmas songs, but I very much love quiet Christmas songs that make me feel peace. It makes me want to give. Instead of thinking ME ME ME, I begin to think, YOU YOU YOU. It is very good. 

I then go on with pictures of Christmas trees, learning what goes under the tree, what goes on the tree, THIS incredible light display, and terrible drawings of ornaments, candy canes, and one-horse-open-sleighs.

But the beautiful thing is seeing a glimmer of recognition in my students' eyes as they feel the one thing that Satan can't replicate--the one thing the Atonement can bring us, the one thing people spend their whole lives trying to obtain, the one thing that softens hearts and opens eyes: peace.

My students may not ever learn the truth of the gospel in their lives, but I hope they can at least distinguish that peace comes from a being greater than them, yet a being that knows them personally to give them a hope in their heart that they will be able to recognize in the Spirit of the Lord.

This definitely didn't end up being a ten minute post, but, Merry Christmas!

I have nothing to add.

shelbylanece.blogspot.com

Read the post titled 'More.'

I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR THAT, SIR

I spent yesterday getting myself in the holiday mood, as it was fast Sunday and I had no desire or energy than to watch Christmas movies and Mormonads. I did end up watching The Santa Clause, which caused me to reflect on the time when my sweet mother informed me that Clause in Santa Claus is not, indeed, spelled with an e on the end. 

I KNOW IT'S UNREALISTIC TO DEVOTE THE REST OF MY LIFE TO INFORMING THE WORLD THE TRUE SPELLING OF SANTA CLAUS BUT THE DIRECTORS MADE A CLEVER PUN THAT SCREWED UP EVERYONE'S SPELLING OF SANTA CLAUS AND I WISH I COULD FIX IT.

Also. Please, don't screw up your/you're. This is YOUR spelling error. YOU'RE a bad speller, Petey.

Effect/affect. These are the EFFECTS of YOUR bad spelling. It's AFFECTING me for the worse.

To/too. I suffer TOO many angry physical reactions to bad spelling. I'm going TO do something violent.

Anyway. Time is nearly up on Dragontales.

Bye.

Don't dis, disown, or disassemble

Just take a second and commit to not do any of the following before you read further.

Yeah, I haven't shaved my legs for a month and a half. After shaving nearly every single day for the past 7 years, I can honestly say that ...... well, no, I haven't been converted. But I also am not offended by my shaving apostasy. Sure, it's absolutely disgusting, but I'll finally understand what it means to, after shaving, hop under the covers and appreciate what it feels like to have nicely shaven legs.

Huzzah for No-Shave (partial October and) November!

I will never do this again.

Student Funnies

Introductory Christmas.

A girl hastily draws a rough outline of a stocking. She clutches it in her fist and shoves it toward me and says, THIS.

Yes! A stocking! 

I draw a picture of a fireplace on the screechy chalkboard and the kids breathe out an audible ahhhh as they understand where I'm headed.

They clap their hands when I finish, thrilled that there was a point of connection between their language and mine. That's the thing about art--it's universal.

Okay. You remember what is UNDER the tree, and what is ON the tree, what goes IN the stockings?

A diminutive seventh grader (I seem to remember a newspaper once referring to me in the exact same terms when I was in a play) in the back says, unabashedly, FIREEEEE!

Fire???!

The class laughs.

A young boy on the front row on the far left shouts, FIRE IN DZE HOLE!!! pulls the trigger out of an imaginary grenade, and throws it out the window into the cold air as he plugs his ears.

I have the best students.

Things.

Thoughts in my head.

It's not like today was a crappy day or anything. By all rights, it was an excellent day. I taught my typical 5 classes (nearly every other teacher has 2-3) and returned home, exhausted, after taking the ten minute speed walk through the biting cold. After warming up for 5 minutes, we headed back into the icy abyss to hail a taxi to take us to Restaraunt.

By the way, Restaurant Mom bought us some earrings and gave them to us last time we were there, along with some delicious ball thingies that looked like tiny rolls and tasted like baklava (except the brown ones, which were chocolate covered and tasted like eclairs without the cream). She no longer accepts any money from us because, as she forcefully asserts every time we go, we are family.

Restaurant fed us delicious dumpling soup and our favorite, sweet potatoes, as well as the bizarre chicken broth stuff that's vaguely spicy and has floating cilantro in it. Which is good... seeing as we haven't had appetites for the past four days. SPEAKING OF WHICH. We had Thanksgiving in Nanjing with the ward there. It was the second-best decision of my life, next to marrying---oh wait. Yeah. It was THE best decision of my life. We had turkey, rolls, sweet potato delight (don't know what in the world it was, but I think it was a blend of sweet potatoes and pumpkin with sugary goodness on top), and all sorts of brownies and pie. What a lovely experience it was.

BUT BACK TO RESTAURANT.

It's always the biggest tender mercy to go to Restaurant. Mama cooks us something special and gives us something to take home every time--and not necessarily something tangible like food. She never fails to completely change our attitudes. I've been setting goals for Chinese lately and gotten pretty discouraged and overwhelmed about this language. When people speak to me, I don't understand a word they say. I don't know whether it's the dialect in Pooptown or what, but I just wish it could click and I could pick out the words that I say to them when they say it back to me.

Then the idiot (pardon my pessimism) taxi driver decided to go off on a rant about how he hates America and he mistook my 'ting bu dong' (no understand) to be awkward offense. Well, sir, even if I did understand anything you said besides:

BLAH BLAH BLAH--oh, let me do this correctly now...

Taxi Man: BRAH BRAH BRAH I HATE AMERICA BRAH BRAH BRAH I LIKE CHINA BRAH BRAH BRAH CHINA BETTER THAN AMERICA BRAH BRAH WAIT YOU'RE AMERICAN BRAH BRAH BRAH I MEAN I DON'T LIKE AMERICA BUT AMERICANS OKAY BRAH BRAH BRAH

Me: Uh, how much was the ride?

Taxi Man: ...............

Dear Taxi Man, I know what long pauses mean. They mean, should I rip these people off?

Taxi Man: .......Ba kuai.

Me: BU BA KUAI. TAI GUI LE. (NOT 8 KUAI. TOO EXPENSIVE)

Taxi Man: ......ba...qi...qi kuai wu. (8...7...7.5 kuai)

Me: LIU KUAI. Women zhidao duoshao qian (6 KUAI. We know how much money it costs..)

Taxi Man: [mischievous smile] Keyi keyi BRAH BRAH BRAH BRAH BRAH BRAH BRAH BRAH (okay, okay BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH).

Me: [in English, with a sincere smile] You can't insult me and my country and then expect us to pay two more kuai than expected. I hope you have a terrible night. Xie xie, wan an! (thank you, goodnight!)

Just. Well. Here are my thoughts. And here's what I think about politics at the moment. I don't care a bit who's poor and who's rich. I don't care whether or not Taiwan is technically considered China. I don't care if you hate America or if you hate me. But what I do care about are human beings. Since when did God create us to create tension with others or obsess over diplomatic details or rifts from the past? I love America. I love my country. I love China. I love the people here. The way I see it, you can come to love any place in the world when you take a glance into the core of humanity. Why, why, WHY do the countries of the world feel the need to destroy each other for the mere 'feeling' of superiority? Are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend on the same God? 

I don't mean to adopt a defeatist attitude, but our world won't change until the Second Coming. I'm not asserting that even the smallest efforts to change it can't bless at least one person's life, which will be entirely worth it, I'm just saying that it's really heartbreaking that human nature in politics has become so vile, base, and apathetic. I guess it's just one of those days that I wish things were better in the world. I sincerely cannot wait for the Second Coming of the Lord.

Bizarre that a simple conversation with Taxi Man became so thought-provoking, but I just wish with all my heart that I had more means, time, and talents to change the world a tiny step at a time. 

Ether 12:4:

"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."

One time,

I was reading CNN and there was an opportunity to write something about China--like a submit your own story deal. So here it is. Feel free to share or do whatever! But no negative feedback, please. It is what it is. :)

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-884655

I'M ALIVE

Just in case you were wondering.

Kidddens

Here's the weird thing about life in China. There's so much to say, but I don't know how to adequately portray it, ya know? Actually, you do know. It's when you hit email time and you have so much to tell your family but it's almost a ridiculous thought to begin to say anything because you know that there's no way you could possibly go into every detail and every emotion withenough detail and emotion to give it justice. That was a long-winded sentence, but moral of the story is, I don't know what to say.

 

Let me talk about my students. Remember Titanic story?

Well one day I had this bizarre idea to turn on My Heart Will Go On from Titanic.

 

The music starts playing.

 

All the girls' faces lit up and they do their little happy clap and then all of a sudden this boy stands up and yells, "YOU JUMP I JUMP!"

 

It took me a second to register what he said, but as he stood with his arms outstretched ("I'm flying!") and said that in his adorable Chinese accent, I lost it.

 Yeah. I love them. The thing is, whenever I walk into the classroom, they freak out. They literally freak out. They do this adorable little thing where their hands are involuntarily gaoxing (happy) and they start flashing peace signs at me like their life depends on it. There's always the exuberant round of applause and a crescedo of screaming as they all begin to realize that I'll be teaching (more like performing for them) them for the next forty minutes. I'll be honest. I'm not a fantastic teacher, but we certainly have a fun time.

 

There's always the diminutive student that sits in the front and stares you down with wonder. They have their plethora of textbooks organized by height and beautifully arranged with their notebook and pencil bags. The whole class, they blurt out the answer and are rather put-out when you don't call on them for the eighth time in a row. Other students in the class look at them when they're saying something in English because they've been automatically deemed the unspoken translator.

 

Then there's the punk on the back row that mimics everything you say. I get a bit animated when I speak--as you very well know--and he's the one who responds to sound the most. If I say, "Okaaayyy??" He will say it in an equally feminine--though embarrassingly similar to my voice--and annoying way. The best part about him is that he doesn't mean any harm; it's almost involuntary.

 

But there's also the girl with the perfect hair and dimpled smile that everyone stops talking when you single her out. She's quietly brilliant and won't say a word unless you call on her, but her English is impeccable and all the students linger too long on her correct answers.

 

THEN there's the class clown. The one that says everything wrong but does it in style. I had one of these today and he was a pudgy, short little kid with an abnormally round face and bug eyes under his ultra-magnified glasses. When we were saying things we were grateful for, he expressed gratitude for things like monkeys, tigers, and ice cream--which is entirely valid, but he just got so excited he screamed them in his deep(ish) squeaky(ish) seventh grade voice until I wrote them on the chalk board.

 

So those are the iconic students. There's one in every class (I have over sixty students in each class). I love them, though. They are always so sweet and have no qualms at yelling at me across the hall, "LAOSHI! LAOSHI! MEES MAREESA!!! HALLO! HOW ARE YOU I'M FINE SANK YEW!" They give me little pieces of candy after class and ask me for my autograph in various places in their notebook, then come back for different sizes of my name.

 

I end the class with 'I love you!' and they never hesitate to scream 'I LOVE YOU TOO!' with all the energy their tiny voices can muster. There's no better feeling than having an entire class of the most adorable children telling you as genuinely as possible that they love you. It's amazing. I cannot wait to be a mother. I think it's so beautiful that I can create a human being within me. And that when that tiny person is born and they begin to cry, they can breathe. They can think. The best part is that they will be mine. But until then, I get to love my students like my children, even though their English is limited and they can barely say my name.

Today, I was doing a Thanksgiving lesson and the Spirit was in each class and I could see in the students' faces that they knew I loved them. It was beautiful. I wish I could go into detail but my computer is broken so I'm on borrowed time!

I love you all. Alsooooo, I'm serving my mission in Taiwan Taichung leaving January 23rd!!! Sooooo. Life is good. I am so happy.

I'm Sick AGAIN

 But not as bad this time. But I've missed class the past three days. But also, it's fine. But why do I feel the need to start every sentence with 'but'? But, life is good. But Happy Halloweeeeennnn!!!!!!

Today, I read this poem:

Where the Sidewalk Ends

by Shel Silverstein

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

I cried. We all have our sidewalks. At times we walk with others, at times, we walk alone. A sidewalk ends and another begins. Some are rough cobblestone while others are precise granite. Many are worn and uneven while others are new and simple. 

The sidewalk I've been on for the past two months has been full of surprises. At times it's been steep and treacherous as the steps on the Great Wall. At at other times, it's been sandy and relaxed as the beaches in Hainan. 

No matter the path I've taken, though, no matter how many people I've walked with or how many have taken their own paths, no matter how many times I've stumbled or paused for breath or feared what lay ahead over the next hill, the sidewalk has continued on. 

And I will continue on, grateful for every hard blessing I've received, and grateful for every friend I've found, and especially grateful for the constant companionship of my Father in Heaven. 

I have less than two months left in China. I can't believe how quickly time has passed and how it continues to ebb away, unencumbered by any of my attempts to preserve it. I love this place. I love these people. I love Shelby. I love being here. But this sidewalk will end soon, and I am grateful for the moment when the Lord will tell me that He has work for me elsewhere. I'll be off on a new adventure, but forever grateful for what I have learned.

And maybe someday, if I continue to do my best on every sidewalk I encounter, I will "leave this place where the smoke blows back and the dark street winds and bends." And I will have rest and be reunited with those who I love. For because of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I know where the sidewalk ends. 

Just give 'im a glass of MALK.

All I wanna do is blog about food. The great thing is that I'm skeenier. I just never wanna leave Chiners. Good thing I'm going on my mission here, or whatevs. When they open China. Next week.? PS. I definitely finished my papers and they are IN! I think. hahaa. Hopefully the stake pres submitted them! But I'm so thrilled. And I'm going to be the best missionary North Dakota has ever seen! I can't wait.

But foods.

Sunny (aptly named Sunny) just gave me some wheat milk. Wait, WAT?! Yes. Wheat milk. Wheat malk, wheat maalk, wheat milk. I was terrified. Room temperature wheat milk? Then she proceeds to tell me there's chunks of wheat in it?! What is she thinking???!!! But I can't reject her--

Hold up. Asian woman walks by to fill up her water bottle. Her body is incredible. I'm really proud of myself for maintaining a great self-esteem while I'm here, but I'll tell you what--it's definitely hard with these tiny-boned Asian women walking around in their skinnies. They have incredible bodies. End of that story.

But I can't reject her because she's so delightful. I actually taught her 'delightful' the other day. She was thrilled. :) But yeah. So I stick the straw in the milk like a Capri Sun (but who would ever think to put milk in one of those?? This ain't no soccer mom treat) and she watches me with this creepy smile on her face. I half expected it to be something I would do to her like, try these Vienna Sausages raw they're really good.... Hahhahaa .... But it turns out, the wheat milk is delicious. I don't even mind the wheat chunks chillin' in my milk! I actually LOVE the wheat chunks!

Man I love this place.

RESTAURANT!

And yes, I capitalize Restaurant because the sign is in Chinese and we, unfortunately, do not read Chinese. So. Restaurant. We love Restaurant. And it's definitely because the noodles are amazing (homemade right before your eyes), and also because a huge dish of noodles and whatever topping you want is like $1.50, but mostly because of the family that owns it. They LOVE us. And I'm pretty sure we've increased their revenue because we've popped up on QQ (Asian Facebook) four more times than a lot at Restaurant. So. Well. They feed us delicious foods, and we love them.

One time, I asked (with my incredible Chinese skills) if they have sweet potatoes (I'm literally obsessed with them now). They didn't, but they told us to come back the next day for them! So we went back, and they made us a legit new dish with sweet potatoes and normal potatoes and then gave us a huge bowl of egg and tomato soup and then wouldn't take our moneys. They do that a lot, actually. They keep charging us $1.50 for two huge meals instead of just one. I love Restaurant. Two times ago, they used the internets to translate into English to tell us to come the next day for sweet potatoes. We came, and they, once again, gave us a whole dish of sweet potatoes and a bunch more in a bag and sent us home charging us $1.50 TOTAL for two noodle dishes and two sweet potato dishes and little soups. She then pulled us in for the best Asian hug I've ever received and kissed us on the cheeks before she sent us on our way.

Here's the thing. Pooptown can get pretty awful. But when we found friends in Restaurant Family, that completely changed our outlook on this city. They truly love us. And it's definitely not because we keep going back so they make money off of us, it's because they truly love that we are here and they know that we love them--because we truly do, with the pure love of Christ. I want so badly to communicate with them and share the gospel.

Tonight at Restaurant, they internets translated for us and told us to come back because Restaurant Mom was going to make us some special dumplings. 

I feel so blessed to encounter such incredible people here. I love them with all my heart.

I'm a homemaker

How to properly open a pear jar when it literally won't open and you don't have hot water to douse it with:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Turn on the burner.
3. Stick pear jar above the burner.
4. Try to open.
5. Unsuccessful.
6. Try to open.
7. Unsuccessful.
8. Unsuccessful.
9. Grab a meat cleaver.
10. Hit it.
11. SUCCESS

Collective Man.

It's literally a race against time trying to post here haha. I can do a free trial of a VPN for ten minutes, and it's excessively slow. It's not as stressful as hopping booking it to make sure you're not late for a train, but it's getting there.

...but really.

Train stresses are not something I'll miss.

SO!

I went to Hainan over the National Holiday. And now I don't remember if I've already talked about it haha. Suffice it to say, it was the best week of my life. We beached it almost the whole time! And now these aren't sounding like original thoughts. I definitely talked about this. Or I emailed someone about it. Hmm. If you want to look at pictures, check Facebook!

The cool thing about it is that I could go on forever and go into every single joke, funny instance, miracle, EVERYTHING, and you still wouldn't understand how good this trip was for me. I feel like it summed up a lot of the things the Lord has been trying to teach me, then rounded it off with a nice announcement of the fact that I'm going on a mission.

But here I am, back in Pooptown, and I can honestly say I've missed it. Certain aspects, like the alienation, the administration, and the smell, I certainly haven't missed. But I love teaching with my whole heart. I have so much I want to do for the kids. And I know that I have at least 3,000 students and can't do much for them, but I can do a little. And that's more than nothing.

We did go to Nanjing this last weekend for conference, Collective Man, and dentist/doctor appointments, though. The branch president's wife took me to the hospital! Oh, just a dental check-up/panoramic x-ray/physical including x-rays and stuff? Oh, just $30.00 without insurance? Hi, China. But it was super great. My two little wisdom teeths on one side of my mouth don't even have a root and they're growing in straight. So, basically, I'm good to go.

But also, I'm tired. And I woke up early because I thought I had class early, but I don't until ten, so I'm going back to sleep. 

BYE.

We loved our thirteen hour sleeper train. What a fun time on the top bunk. That was too small for us.

Just, uh, going to the dentist?.. They looked in my mouth and told me I was real healthy. Then gave me an X-RAY!

Just me and my BFF Troy who has a mustache. We made french toast for our men. They loved us. We're good housewives.

Oh, a random Asian man passerby just touched my bum? But was it an accident?.. It happens more often than I'd like to admit.

One of my other BFFs, Marcus. He's from K-town! Holla! But really. The most sincere, altruistic, and sweetest person I've met. ALSO, he totally keeps up with my movie quoting, which is no small feat.

Shelby, me, Dan, and Jake. We love them, they love us. It's just a nice system we have. :)

I'm HOME! (but not?)

OH HEY. Based on pageviews, you cuties still checked the blog while I was in Hainan! It really means a lot to me. You're all so wonderful.

Here's the deal. I really don't have enough time to write down every single miracle we experienced or why it was the absolute best week of my life, but it was definitely nothing short of incredible. My heart is so full of thanks that we didn't get train tickets to Guilin and went to Chawaii instead. Heavenly Father truly knows what's best for us. What a tender mercy.

Oh, did we meet up with some hawt man (Collective Man, as I refer to them) that all spoke Chinese and took care of us for three and a half days of the days we were there? Yes, yes yes. I miss man. Man in general. But that did our hearts good. Turns out, we ARE relatively attractive and funny? Who knew. Pooptown peoples don't do much for our self-esteem haha. But I can honestly say that I came to love every single one of the six guys on Study Abroad through BYU that we met back in Shanghai. It was so nice to be around worthy priesthood holders who genuinely cared about our safety. They did, and continue to do, and would do, anything we asked them. 

We're actually headed to Nanjing tomorrow to spend a couple days with them! Oh, why? Well.

I'm serving a mission as soon as I return from China! For sake of time, I'll just copy and paste an email I sent to one of my friends from Nanjing. Sorry for any inside jokes from the trip! 

 So flashback to sophomore year. Or ninth grade. Or I guess my entire life. I distinctly remember my mom asking me if I wanted to serve a mission when I was like, eight. We were sitting on the couch reading Harry Potter and I told her straight up that I wanted to go on a mission. My older sister Kaytlen started bawling because she couldn’t even imagine leaving home haha. But I guess it’s just never been something I’ve had to think about. I made my decision years ago that I’d serve a mission. As  precocious little reader I’d already read the Book of Mormon by age 9, and I’ve just always known that the church was true. So when I hit sophomore year and Kelsi got her call, it’s just always been engrained in me that I’d serve a mish. Especially because I was so anti-male haha. Every single boy in every single seminary class (well, every single boy I’ve EVER encountered… EVER. LITCHRALLY) tried to tell me that I’d never make it to a mish and that I’d be married the second I was out of high school.

Which is bizarre, because I only kissed one person in high school. Twice. Hahaha. Ne’er had a legit BF in my life. And the only time I did…he was our chauffeur in Pooptown. And he dumped us. Like a dump. A literal dump. Take it how you will. Boooyyyyffffrrriiiieeennnnnndddddd!! But I just told everyone that I’d be serving a mission.

Then I graduated at the tender age of 17 and barely turned 18 when I went to callege. And I sort of dated a couple people (it’s a REAL loose term) and realized that I probably wouldn’t make it to the ripe old age of 21 before I got married. But then I had this little hope inside me that I would, just because I had felt so strongly that I’d get to serve a mission.

Back in January, I went to five of my friends’ farewells in one day. You have to understand that going on a mission had reached the obsessive point where I thought about it all day and accepting the fact that I probs wouldn’t go hurt my heart every time. So ya know, the green jealousy monster came out in my heart a bit. I decided I needed to go on an adventure, at least. So the next day, I talked to Shelby, and through a series of miracles, I had almost everything lined up to go to China in a period of about four hours.  SO IT’S WHATEVER, RIGHT? I’ll get to be a little service missionary in China.

Then my friend’s older sister (Jeneca Todd, do you know her? Andrew Todd? They’re pretty cool.) asked me to do a duet in her senior showcase cause she was graduating from the dance program in April. I mean, NBD, I’m one of two freshmen in the whole showcase. Hahaha I just have connections, that’s all. But then the dance department chair came to meet me after the performances and invited me to be in the program. So, a month later of prayer and fasting, I coordinated with them to do an accommodated audition and all of a sudden I was a dance ed major. Everything worked out nicely! But it kind of sealed off the fact I probs wouldn’t be going on a mission because it’d be difficult to take a break in the middle of the program just because it’s so meticulously extensive.

I accepted it and just gave my whole heart to China! So when we heard the news at the end of the best week of my life, it was such a blessing. The past eight months have been littered with blind guesses at my future, acting solely on promptings and hoping I’d end up in the right place somehow. As many times as I’ve prayed to know what or why, I’ve received the answer that I need to continue to move forward in patience and faith. Which is probably one of the most difficult answers to receive.

Then as I came to Pooptown and had some of the most difficult times of my life as I’ve been completely isolated and without any sort of help but to surrender to the jurisdiction of a lazy male-dominated administration.  All I’ve been told while I’ve been here is to be patient. To wait for things to straighten themselves out. I’ve always been the kind of person to just make things work if other people aren’t doing their part, but I’ve been in situations where there is literally nothing I can do but wait.

And then I’ve encountered an abnormal amount of bad luck for the time that we’ve been here, with stolen phones, missed trains, no stipend, not teaching, no hot water, no water, broken camera, lost keys, no internet—basically everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. I’ve had to completely give myself to the Lord in these situations and put my trust in Him with my whole heart. Time and time again, I’ve been taught that things will work out.

Then, I don’t know if Shelby sent you our co-written email of the crabist jellyfisher, but basically a man on the beach was high and kifed my camera case but then realized there wasn’t anything in it. EXCEPT THE ROOM KEY. Which I’d already paid to replace because I might have accidentally broken it, then we almost lost it, and now it was stolen. After an hour of trying to get him to fess up and searching through the sand and everything imaginable, we finally trudged back to the hostel to cough up Y50 for a new key. We walked in and Joe’s wife looked perplexed and by our fantastic charades skills we determined she was saying something about a camera. LADY, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TAKE PICTURES. But then she reached in her desk and pulled out my camera case.

All five RMB I had stowed in there was still there, as was the room key and the nice little sticky note I had the man at the sombrero hostel write the Joe’s Seaside Inn address on. At that moment, I finally understood what Heavenly Father had been trying to teach me! That even when things are going horribly, horribly wrong, they’re actually going right. And they always will, as long as we trust in the Lord. What a tender mercy to know in that moment that Heavenly Father is always there. He really is my best friend. And I know that sounds bizarre to say, but it even talks about it in my patriarchal blessing. I’ve never been more grateful for the all-encompassing power of the Atonement—that Christ is the mediator and that I can literally speak with God and understand who I am through His love.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! When we were passed along the news of the mission, I knew immediately that I’d be going as soon as possible. It was never really a decision I had to make. All of a sudden the last cog clicked into place and the immense amount of stress I’ve encountered the past year made sense. The way that nothing seemed to go the way I planned became a blessing. I’m going on a mission with no reservations, no doubts, no obligations or second thoughts. I can give my service and my whole heart and soul entirely to the Lord. Suddenly, all of my petty fears and insecurities simply don’t matter because I know that I am a servant of the Lord, ushering in the gathering of Israel. He knows my heart. I can’t even fathom how perfect the timing is. This new revelation will completely change missionary work, and I am one who is most directly affected by it. A girl too young for her grade to consider it could even be a possibility, a girl who spent her summer reading and memorizing Preach My Gospel with the full knowledge she’d never get to employ it, a girl who wouldn’t be able to take a break from the dance program but went through every single possible way she could graduate by 21 so she could serve a mission. THAT GIRL IS ME. And I know this sounds crazy dramatic, but you guys have always known you’d have the opportunity. That it was expected of you—and though you had to make a conscious decision to go, there really wasn’t an option not to. As soon as you throw that second option in there and magnify it by the stereotypical pressure of BYU freshmeat/graduate ASAP to support a husband through college and have babies, THEN factor in my young age, it’s no longer a viable option to go.

So here I am on sensory overload. Pedro must have been voted as class president because all my wildest dreams have come true.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. I obviously need to pray about it, to make sure I’m doing the right thing. Scripture after scripture I flip to is all about the gathering of Israel and how I, specifically, will be a part of it. 1 Nephi 4:15-31. 2 Nephi 29:7. 2 Nephi 31:20. Mosiah 27:36-37. Mosiah 28:19. Alma 26:37. Alma 31:30-33. Alma 32:6. Alma 43:1-2. Alma 62:50-51. Helaman 13. Helaman 14:10-16. 3 Nephi 5:23-26. 3 Nephi 18:25. Ether 4:7, 11-14. Moroni 8. Moroni 9:6. Every single one of those scriptures was a random find, but exactly what I needed to validate my feelings toward service.

And then again as I read Mosiah 1-7 on the train, there’s just no way that I will ever be able to deny that the Lord has a place for me in the next 21 months. It’s, like you said, a glimpse into what the Lord has in store for me. For the first time in my life, I’m pressing forward with His plan for me in complete assurance that it is right. I’ve been moving forward in hope and faith for a couple years now, but now I get to go into this with a full knowledge that this is where I need to be.

And because of that knowledge, I have no doubts or fears. I’ve never felt more sure about something in my life. What a blessing it is to a part of this gospel. It’s so real. It’s so true. And it’s not one of those things that is real because I love it. I love it because it’s real. Because the peace it brings isn’t contrived or the effect of psychology. The gospel is the gateway to immediate happiness in this life and a promise for blessings eternally. Like the brass serpent of old where people had to merely cast their eyes to be healed, we need to merely cast our hearts to the Savior and be healed and experience peace. And now I get to be a literal servant of the Lord, endowed with power to cause people to simply look. I get to wear the Lord’s name over my heart every day for a year and a half—but not only wear it, share it.

I’ve never felt more blessed or full of hope. Like a stone cut out of the mountain, the work will never stop. And I have the privilege and duty to be a part of it.

So that’s where I’m coming from. Word.

I started my papers as soon as I heard. So I found out Saturday night, which was Saturday morning for all you kids, then through a bunch of miracles I got in contact with my bishop in Springville who approved me to  start my papers! I took some glamour shots last night (they're not glamorous), and everything is ready to go. I contacted the Nanjing Branch president and his sweet wife is taking us to the doctor and the dentist on Saturday. Once I submit those, I'll have a skype interview with my bishop and my stake president and my papers will be submitted. My availability date is January 1st, 2013. 

So there you have it. Imma serve a MISSION! And the best part is that I get a full two years, counting China :) I am so blessed. 

My screen shot of my missionary pictures. All done!!! :)

Also.

Sorry for the lack of posting! My VPN, which allows me to get on Blogger, hasn't been working. Also, I won't be back for a week because I'm going to HAINAN.

Check it out on Google. 

It's incred.

PEACE

The Tale... of Victor.

Shelby and I wanted to plan a little excursion to Qingdao, but we're tired of being dependent on the school which has been an absolute trial to work with. So Shelby employed some of her magical smiling qualities to get the teacher that is helping her in the primary school to show us how to get to Weifang (where the train station is) without having the school drive us there. AKA a long distance bus. 

Oh thanks, Victor.

BUT WAIT! You've met him before! Doo youuuu remember?!?! Victor is the teacher who must have learned English from an exceedingly feminine French man and stopped us by the side of the road one night to talk to us.

Victor truly is a sweetheart, though. He was more than happy to show us where the bus stop is.

Or should I say, to show Shelby where the bus stop is!

Consider this hypothetical situation for a moment here. You and your friend are tied to the hip. So much so, in fact, that when your BFF finds a beau to form a symbiotic relationship with--the teenage hormones rampantly reminding you of every awkward junior high dance you've ever attended--and she asks you to come hang out with the two of them, you can't refuse. 

Now obviously, Shelby is not attracted to Victor in any way. But he has his 28-year-old celebrity crush on Shelby. I, however, didn't know these feelings existed until we hopped down the 10th flight of stairs and opened the door at the of the hallway.

Lights on. Shelby and Marissa exit the building. Victor turns melodramatically--the kind of turn that would perhaps be in a choreographed Justin Bieber concert, but the audience keeps Justin Bieber in mind because he will be important later in the story.

Victor: HEeeellllloOOOOOoooo Shellllbbyyy!!! 

He nods to Marissa.

Victor is wearing a promiscuous v-neck with man cleavage all the way down his sternum. Once again, his hipster pants are much too tight and accent his bizarrely proportioned body.

Shelby: Hi, Victor.

Marissa: (already understanding the vibes, and at this point much too excited about how incredible this evening is about to be)....HELLLO VICTOR! 

Victor: I will walk you now, to the bus! Les go? (Chinese people ALWAYS say that. Especially in question form. Les go?) Ohhhhh no, I have brought my BIKE! Victor proceeds to slurp up the excess spit pooling in his mouth as he speaks, then throws his hands up in the air like a poorly dramatized play, and laughs excessively loud.

Marissa: (asterisks signify thoughts) *Incredible. Absolutely incredible.*

The three begin walking. It is soon apparent this is actually a Shelby/Victor date. The walking formation, even, supports this.

Shelby---------Victor

               |

          Marissa

Marissa: *I am such a good third wheel. But wow. I am LITERALLY the third wheel right now. We are in tricycle formation and I am the THIRD WHEEL! If I had a dollar for every time...*

Shelby: *Why is Victor being so creepy? He's so kind for showing us around, but why are we on a date?...*

Victor: *Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. Swallow spit. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. Did I shower today? Shelby. Shelby. Shelby...*

In answer to Victor's silent musings, no, he did shower today. In fact, based on the stench emitting from his person, he probably has not showered in a week or more.

Marissa's thoughts continue to enjoy this situation silently as Victor addresses Shelby to ask questions about herself and about America. 

Marissa: *What is that awful smell? Is it worth it to have such a great view of this incredible situation if I have to walk downwind of Victor? I'm hungry.* Marissa interrupts the riveting conversation. Victor, do you know what hot pot is?

Victor: Ummmmmmmm (he has clearly forgotten that Marissa was there) I do not understand. Maybe I find out later, and tell you?

Shelby: Hot pot is so delicious! It is where there is a pot in the middle of the table, and you put different foods into the pot to cook. We would like to know if there is hot pot in Changyi!

Victor: OH, I WILL FIND OUT NOW. 

Victor proceeds to search on his phone for an understanding of the bizarre concept of 'hot pot.'

~Five minutes later~

Victor: Oh. I do not understand. He dips his chin and looks into Shelby's eyes. I am very sorry.

Marissa: *Okay, am I being punk'd? COME ON. Where's the hidden cameras? This is too good to be true.*

Shelby: That is okay. Let's keep walking to the bus station.

A few minutes pass. Victor pulls out his phone.

Victor: May I show you, American song? I sink it VERY beautiful.

Marissa and Shelby: OH YES!

Victor then plays an unfamiliar English song.

Victor: Do you know it?!

Mmmmmnope.

Victor: It is very beautiful. Victor begins to sing the song, at the top of his lungs. Is it really happening? Is this real life? The two girls question their reality. What a fortunately incredible situation.

Victor continues to sing. 

Every time the wheel turns on Victor's bike, it groans uncomfortably loud. Every time Shelby speaks, Victor groans uncomfortably loud--IN DELIGHT.

After what seems to be an eternity, the tricycle finally reach the bus station. Convinced she knows how to properly navigate the way there, Marissa suggests they go to Jia le Jia (grocery store) to get some food, as her stomach is hungry enough to devour her pleasant attitude.

Victor: OH, I am freeeee tonight. I can go wis YOU!

Marissa: *I'm still here. And I just want foods in my tummy.*

Shelby: Um, okay!

The three walk into Jia le Jia. Victor allows Shelby to sample delicious breads. Our hands full with giant water bottles and a beautiful thing of coconut bread and a couple dumplings, we begin to walk out of the store. Many, many, many more hilariously uncomfortable moments happen and it comes to a point where Marissa, despite her unhappy tummy, is giggling ferociously and consistently in her head.

The tricycle rides again.

Marissa: Is that... JUSTIN BIEBER?!

Shelby: OHhhh ho ho yes it IS!

A store is playing Justin Bieber outside. 

Marissa: Dance party. Now.

Shelby: We're American. We can make it happen. 

Bieber, Marissa, Shelby: BABY, BABY, BABY OHHHHH LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY OHHHHHHHHHHHH

Victor: (giggling uncontrollably with obvious glee): Zees is popular song in America?! YES I KNOW! BABY BABY BABY BABY--oh, I mess up. I take picture?!

Shelby and Marissa strike a pose.

Victor: Do you dance often?

Shelby: I don't dance, but Marissa is very good at dancing! I just dance for fun.

Victor: Where do you dance? Obviously speaking to Shelby

Shelby: Umm, (laughs) in my apartment?

Victor: I would very much like to see you dance...

Marissa and Shelby: ........................................

Marissa: *But why isn't this being filmed?*

Shelby: Um, probably not!

Victor: I like to dance. I am very good at dancing.

...................................

Victor: Can I... whisper a song to you?

Shelby: What???

Victor: I am very good at whispering songs. Very. Good. May I whisper a song to you?

Shelby: Ohhhh ho ho. AbsoLUTELY you can.

Marissa: Incredible.

Victor then proceeds to whistle a Chinese song. For five minutes. Marissa and Shelby are delighted. The bike continues to groan. 

Victor: I very much like English. In the university, I like my teacher very much. He is the teacher I am most attracted to.

At this point, Marissa is more grateful than ever for the walking formation. Though she does her best to brush off her laughter as coughing, she can't escape the facial contortions resulting from obvious suppressed laughter. But even when she thinks it can't get any better, it does.

Victor: My bike is very loud! Maybe it is....... BROKEN. He laughs like a giddy school boy, then slurps in his excess spit. 

Shelby: Maybe it is not very happy with you!

Victor: It say to me, 'YOU ARE NOT MY MASTER. I AM VERY MAD AT YOU.' Raucous laughter at own joke ensues.

Marissa: Incredible.

The date ends with a very informal non-doorstep scene. Marissa and Shelby, feeling more stoked than ever to be alive, laugh the entire 10 flights to their apartment. 

What an absolute WIN.

The usual, please.

This little boy, though.

He is my favorite part of this entire week. So we visited this restaurant earlier because we walked the two miles to buy train tickets and were famished when we got there, so on the way to the main road, we saw a giant picture menu and knew we had to go.

This is our second time visiting the restaurant. We pointed at the dishes we wanted, and they brought us out a dish with noodles, beef, and leeks, and another with rice, eggs, tomatoes, and peppers. Both were incredible! This little boy was having the time of his life walking up to us, getting shy, and skittering away. The sweet owners then brought out a small plate of pickled seaweed. It was actually pretty good! Then, they brought out some herbal tea. I actually wonder if it was actually soup haha... But it tasted like strong chicken broth with cilantro. THEN they had the little boy bring us a baked sweet potato. Oh my goodness it was delicious! AND THEN, they had him bring us two orange fantas with a bottle opener for each of us. He'd creep up toward the table, nervous about dropping the drinks, set it down, give us an ear-to-ear grin, then run away.

After the delicious meal and being EXTREMELY full having only eaten about half of what they put in front of us, I handed them a 100 RMB bill to see how much extra they were going to charge us. The man gave us back 82.

He charged us 18 for everything. Less than three dollars.

I am so grateful for the amazing friends we've made on the streets. No, we don't speak their language. But we buy flatbread from our bread lady. We buy lotus root and other things from the lady with the kind eyes and she doles us out the same portions we asked for the earlier day and lets us try new things. Our fruit woman always greets us with a huge smile. Just outside our complex, there's a gate with a guard in a small building. We named him Henry! Every single time we leave, we give Henry a big wave and a big smile, and he returns the favor. And I'm excited to visit our restaurant at least once a week so we can do them a service by being loyal customers.

I guess you can say we've become regulars :)

It's a Cal Ranch sort of day.

I spent the morning listening to country music and then I found this incredible photo taken at the Cal Ranch store where Dan's, Dick's, and who-knows-what-else used to be. I think I was meant to be a southern belle. Which is a bit presumptuous, but I really do have this bizarre fascination with all things country. Plus, isn't Miles lookin' like a flipping stud in this picture? He looks like he could be on the next Hannah Montana movie. Sorry girls, he's already vowed that he'll forever live in my basement playing college football.

Or he'll just forever be my BFF. HI MILES HI!!! Oh, too bad you don't even care enough to read this. Grandma Rives will probably call you and chew you out now. Ha! Love you!

My Greatest Accomplishments.

1. Learning the Elvish alphabet. I'm obsessed.
2. I CAN CORN ROW HAIR?! It only took me two hours :)

Holllllllllaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the street vendor was selling it on the other side.

I literally think I'm hilarious. I'll take that courtesy chuckle right to the bank, thank you very much. My picture uploader started working finally, so here's a million and a half pictures to prove that I have, in fact, actually been in China. Spoiler alert: I'm really not living in our unfinished basement pretending to be on the other side of the world.

This is Clement, our tour guide. AKA JACKIE CHAN!!! "If I die young, bury me in Clement's backyard." ~Shelby

Just me and my BFF Jon out for a cruise around Beijing! Literally so legit.

Part of our cruisin'. I'm obsessed with the fact that we rented scooters.

Yes. That is our washer. And I'm sitting on the dryer like a creep. But only because sometimes it gets a little bit...frisky? SO WHAT IF I LOOK LIKE I LIVE IN A PRISON.

Pooptown school! Just to clarify something--the name Pooptown isn't derogatory in any way. I love Pooptown! It's a term of endearment. It just smells abnormally of poop, even for China.

This would be urban Changyi. Just the 24 hour KFC on the right. Why do they obsess over KFC, of ALL things?

THIS IS THE TOBAGGAN FROM THE GREAT WALL! I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL TOBAGGAN BUT I SURE DID LOVE IT!

Just doing cartwheels on the bridge at the Bund in Shanghai. Yes, ALL Americans act like this. Haha. The Chinese people in the background. Classic.

This is our polyga-crew, minus Maddy and McCall. Hadlee, Jon, Shelby, me, Jess, Blythe. LOVE THEM!!!

"Destroying the ecosystem would FINALLY threaten the living of humans."

Most depressed Rafiki I've ever met. :/ But we were friends.

"Do not harm the animals due to the evil is little."

Just riding the ferris wheel at the zoo. Abnormally expensive, but it had to be done.

Bridges. So many delicious bridges.

I just intend to cartwheel all over this country.

I. LOVE. PANDAS. 

GIT THAT CORN OUT OF MY FACE! Plot twist: it's actually panda poops :///

I rode him. Please refer to Facebook for evidence. Thanks Miles, for uploading them! Don't be surprised  that he reads this. Because he actually doesn't. So.

Just our daily stroll through the park to the market to buy lunch!