Never Been More Thrilled

Soooo the teaching situation. Well I just stopped coming when they asked me. Turns out, Shelby got to start teaching on Thursday in the primary school so I rightfully think, hey, I probably start teaching today too! I get ready for the first time in years, literal years, although I honestly didn't get ready; but I looked relatively presentable in an effort to perhaps butter them up into giving me some classes.

After about an hour of trophying (it's become a straight up verb now, the way I sit in an office simply WAITING), they finally attempt to give me a schedule. Oh, wrong schedule? Another hour of trophying passes. FINALLY, I have a schedule.

I start teaching on Monday.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

You need, come to school this afternoon and tomorrow for familiarize yourself with school.

Um, no way, English teacher who doesn't speak English.

I was actually getting sick, so I blamed the fact that I would not come to the school on an illness. I'm not gonna trophy myself for six hours a day when I've already spent about 15 hours familiarizing myself with the students and some junior high dance concert choreography. I went home and spent the next four days being legitimately sick with a sore throat, fever, cough, the works. So that was fun (spoiler alert: but it wasn't).

Monday rolls around. I get ALL ready again (comparatively?) and head over to the school for my 8:05 class. I sit in the office for fifteen minutes. The clock ticks on. OH sorry. You don't teach first hour because the students are coming back from break over the weekend. Okay, so, when do I teach? Second hour. Okay. 

Spongebob narrator voice: One hour laterrrr.

Okay, I show you your class room?

We go to the classroom and I am sooo stoked. I finally get to start teaching these kids who I've grown to love even though I don't know a thing about them. I open up my picture slideshow and start talking. Things are going really well! I get through some dance pictures and then some travel pictures and then ----

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Who should it be, but the administrative head teacher from the floor above?

The English teacher rushes out of the classroom to go speak with him.

She comes back in and grabs my arm and says, You don't teach this class anymore. We go now.

WAAATTT???

There's no way in heck I'm skipping out on your whim. But I have to, apparently. So I squeeze in about 7 more pictures out of spite until she shoos me out of the classroom. You are kiddin' ME. I LOOKED LIKE A FOOOOL OUT THERE.

We go back to the trophy showcase and I demand an explanation from the woman who teaches Chines-ish instead of English, or even Engrish. As expected, she sits me in a chair and tells me to wait while the other teachers unabashedly check me out for fifteen minutes. 

Continuing.

She tells me that I might teach the next period. But I might not. But I might teach in the afternoon. But I might not.

Woman. Which. Is. It. I tell her I need to know EXACTLY when I teach.

One hour laterrrr.

Oh, I talk to head teacher he say you have no class this week.

This.... week?

Yes, no class entire week. You teach maybe Monday.

Here's the deal. I can't say I've ever lost my temper in my entire life. I brush things off pretty darn easy. So when I say I was livid, it doesn't mean I had steam fuming from my ears and was throwing a tantrum like a two-year old. But it does mean that I walked home from that school thinking way-too-many swearwords paired with some hypothetical/very un-Christlike scenarios.

Given fifteen minutes sitting on my couch staring at the wall, though, I was over it. I complained to my parentals for a solid hour, but I mean, I've come to accept the fact that they simply won't tell me anything. And that they'll probably never have me teach. It's almost hilarious, really. It does kind of suck because I can't really leave the apartment alone because I'm a girl and I'm not entirely sure my keychain pepper spray would work on Asians, and also Shelby's in the apartment and our city is big enough/small enough that it's not safe to go out after dark, but I'm finding things to do. I actually learned the Elvish alphabet last night, which was probably the most exciting accomplishment of the nineteen years I've been on this earth. 

Yeah, I probably sent this to most of you already. I've just never been more thrilled. Just my name in Elvish.

Our shower is such a tease. We had hot water for a total of five minutes. When Shelby's out of the shower we're heading out to go get some lunch! Oh the food here. Oh the fact that I'm actually losing weight, despite the fact that the food's amazing. Never been more thrilled, like I said.

1. Travel. 2. Simplify.

First of all, happy birthday to Miss Kenzie Isbell tomorrow! If someone could be so kind so as to pass that along, I would be more than grateful.

Keep the questions coming. I'm s'darn excited to answer zem all!

Also, Camille Robb. Are you there?? AKA, why haven't you emailed me yet? I feel like I forgot to stow away your email, and I'd like to know how London is.

Here's something incredible.

Camille is in London. My BFF Shannon Mason is in Italy. Meg just got back from Australia. Me, Shelby, Maddy, and McCall are in China. Kelsee Broadhead is going to China in February. Jessi Crosland went to Europe this summer. Mandy's sister is teaching in Mexico right now. It's whatever, right?? I'm just thinking, everyone that's on a mission right now aren't the only ones going all over the world gaining cultural insights and making new friends. The way I see it, the gathering of Israel is happening in more ways than we can even fathom. I have friends all over the world right now. South America, Canada, East Coast, West Coast, Midwest, Western Europe, Eastern Europe, Russia, China, India, Thailand, Philippines, Australia, Africa, and the list goes on and on!

The courage and drive to become well-versed in other cultures that our generation has is only gaining momentum. So for those of you reading this, I urge you to go see the world! Of course there's a time and place for everything as well as moderation in all things, but every cent you spend will have been worth it. Go find a good job, work hard, and do your best in school so you can get out of Utah and experience the beauty of different interaction and values. Find and appreciate history, learn a little bit of every language you encounter. Serve the people. Give and receive. Learn to love each person as they are--though you may never speak to them, understand them, or ever see them again.

There's a lady at the market here that we've gone to to buy deep-fried lotus root (it's AMAZING), and although the extent of my Chinese can help us greet, buy, and thank, I have a legitimate love for her in my heart. Her smile and patience has made a lot of the difference in my attitude here in Pooptown. The first time we bought from her, I thought I gave her 5 RMB to pay for the lotus root but I accidentally gave her 50. I walked away to find some green peppers and I hear her yelling and clapping at me to get my attention so she could give me the change. Although I would have lost about $8.00 total, it changed my entire outlook on the people here.

There is good everywhere. Of course, there is also bad, but for each encounter with unhelpful or rude people  comes a person who is good at their very core; it makes every frustrating moment worth it.

Let me make something clear. I certainly complain a lot about Pooptown, annoying administrators, hard beds, and miserable showers, but I am happy. I am so happy here. Josh Johnson was chatting Shelby earlier today and said that if we think culture shock is bad now, just wait till we come home. I love you all dearly, but I don't want to come home. It's going to be hard to leave these humble people, the amazing prices, the active lifestyle, and how you simply have to make things work (EVEN IF THE STUPID MOP DOESN'T DO THE ONLY JOB IT WAS CREATED FOR). I really don't want to leave the food. Everything is so fresh! AND CHEAP!

It's borderline hilarious the way they build everything that should be smaller bigger, and how everything that should be much bigger is much too small. I love not having a car. I wish I was here forever so I could spend a couple hundred dollars on a moped and just ride that around everywhere! Walking has been so good for me, though! I love how simple their lives are. They're not frittered away by unnecessary details, too many appointments, or obsessions with social media (though you can best believe I have a QQ now). For evening activities, they go to the park and play badminton. They walk around. They play chess. They DANCE. It's going to be hard to go back to America where life revolves around technology and speed. Everything we do in America is to improve efficiency or speed so we can have more time to laze around.

Here, everything is so simple. They don't need to buy the latest diet fads because they relish in the fact that they can go out and exercise for fun. Exercising isn't a chore to be done, it's something they love! The playground equipment here are actually toy-looking versions of exercise equipment we have at home. The food isn't plasticized or has a shelf life of ten years. It's real. Why do you need a car to drive around the block? They ride their bikes, take a bus, or walk. In America, we fill our schedules up with a million things because we've found ways to combat the so-called time-wasters like walking, cooking a real meal, or even just sitting in a park enjoying company. We're entirely misguided.

Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for the technology and wonderful things we have at home. I just think that we've become blinded by the way we prioritize things--I'm probably the worst offender. Life isn't a race. It's a journey. Take the extra time you have, and instead of filling it up with meaningless and true time-wasters, strengthen your relationships with your family and friends. Study your scriptures and become closer to God. Appreciate the earth we have. Set goals. Take a walk. Learn something new. Be actively engaged in a good cause.

Once I've begun to do this, my joy has become much simpler and more pure in a way I can't verbalize or showcase. So find out for yourself.

Have you done any good in the world today?

Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Today, I came to good old Blogger without entirely knowing what I want to write about.

So let me ask YOU. What do you want to know about China, Pooptown, the universe in general, etc.? Just leave a comment or send me an email. Happy free question time!

Remember: there is no such thing as a stupid question.

But there is such thing as a stupid answer, so choose your questions wisely.

Call me Adele--

cause there are so many bizarre things I want to set on fire right now.

Yes, it IS four in the morning here. And yes, I AM awake. Oh, ya know, just casually awake waiting to stop coughing so I can get some decent sleep on my wooden board of a bed. Maybe in the morning I'll even take a shower. Oh, should I clarify that? I'll heat some water on the stove and use a wash cloth to wipe myself down and wash my hair with cold water dripping from the showerhead. That would be ideal. Then I could make myself some breakfast out of the food we have in the fridge.

Oh wait, our fridge is empty.

Well that's fine, I'll go to the store.

Two miles of walking away.

Maybe in a couple days I could start teaching English. With approximately 2.5 times the amount of classes the teachers with salaries teach. Oh, just casually teaching the entire seventh and eighth grade in a middle school with 5,000 students.

But if that's not enough, I can probably take a nice walk around the park and have every single person I pass stare at me and judge me with their eyes up and down.

Thrice.

That'd be fine, right?



Here's the thing. I'm super happy here. It's just 4:30 in the morning now and I'm miserable and not thrilled to be awake, so of course I'm going to write mean things. MY POOR LITTLE BODYYYYYY.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS SUCK ON CREAMIES AND HAVE A FLUFFY PILLOW AND MAYBE A MATTRESS IF THAT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK.

I never want to be sick here again. :/

You live here TOO?!!!?!

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Pooptown, there lived a girl (I hate to be too explicit here, but that girl was me). And that girl woke up in the middle of the night (two in the a.m.) because she is extremely ill (at least in my head it feels extreme) and was coughing so hard she could no longer sleep. What does the ill-fated girl do?

Obviously hop on the Internet to once again see that nobody has emailed her.

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the incredible friends and family she has, sending her about four emails. What a sweet tender mercy! Even when you're sick in a different country trying to sleep on a wooden slat with pillows filled with Puffed Rice cereal and you cough your lungs up every three seconds, the Lord will find a way to bless you. So thank you for the emails! I'll write back to you in the morning when I'm NOT teaching :) Haha.

But I did get my schedule from Flat Top this afternoon, and it looks like I rotate every other week teaching the ENTIRE eighth and seventh grades. Did I mention this middle school has over 5000 students? Davis High times two, and I'm teaching 65% of it. At least I'll be teaching? I start school on Monday.

Speaking of this weekend, RISE AND SHOUT COUGARS! WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!! I'm stoked. Wish I could be there with everyone! Be wise in your cheering, but GO BYU!!! I'm not gonna lie. I miss football games. BYU games are EPIC. Even last year, when we were terrible.

So the other day, when we were walking home from the market, yet another civilian flags us down with their eyes and nearly crashes into something with their bike as they do fourteen double takes to see that we are indeed foreigners. The man slams on his breaks and swings his bike over to the curb as awkwardly as a duck might (if ducks did indeed ride bikes) and grins from ear-to-ear as he turns to say,

HEEELLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh. Wow. Sir. Did you by chance learn English from a feminine man or did you add your own flair to the English language? The amount of dipthongs and accompanying large-toothed smiles with a sassy head-bob is absolutely astonishing. I can't handle myself when Victor--what a fitting name--talks to us. It's the funniest thing I have ever seen.

For those of you who've seen Hot Rod, he's the Asian wannabe incarnated into a Pooptown local.

It is veerrrrryyy nice to finally (you really need to envision the vocal range he's hitting here as he emphasizes each vowel and consonant in the most gay/pedophiliac way possible) meet youuuuu. I am English teacher (are you really?..) at the...PRIMARY SCHOOOOLLL, which (the enthusiasm in this next part can never be over-exaggerated in your head) IS YOUR SAME SCHOOL TOO?!

Oh yes. We teach here.

Do YOU (insert Michael Jackson voice pop) liiiivveeee heeerreeee toooooo?!

Um. --Awkward avoidance of question--

Yes we live at the school.

MEEEE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Maybe sometime, I be your Chinese teacher and maybe make you food I can cook?!

Haaahahhawkwardreliefsocietylaugh mayybbeee (not a chance)

GOOOODDD!!!!!! Today, ees verrry good day! BECAUSE I HAVE MET YOU!

Ha.?

I think you are verrrry beautiful and so excited be....ASSOCIATES together!

Yeahhhh. We have to go.

OKAY! SEE YOU SOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!

Yeah see ya never!


I skipped the four hour expositional dialogue in which he told us about his English teacher at his university and how he can teach us Chinese and how he got our number, but you get the point. Bizarre, right? We still haven't nicknamed him. But when it comes, it's gonna be golden.

What. A. Man.

Post Script

Write me some fetching emails, people. I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.

My name is Marissa, and I approve this message.

That one time...

NOW, they're saying I start teaching on Monday. Does this concern anyone? And yes, Linda, I get the comments sent to my email :) It is lovely to hear from you!!

SO. ShANGHAI.

One time, we by some miracle got out of Pooptown and into Shanghai. You can read the story from the last post about how miraculous it was that we got tickets and made it on the last train of the day. I don't know that I was extremely clear about the circumstances, though. I've certainly been more than clear about our trials with Masty and the Chinch (I've introduced those nicknames for the school board, right?), but I'm talking about the trip to Shanghai.

Obviously, there isn't any passive or active proselyting allowed in China, but we are blessed enough to be able to meet together for church at various times and destinations throughout all of China. In the Shanghai district, there are three branches. Nanjing, Pudong, Shanghai South (? I reallly don't know?). Brother and Sister Johnson are the adult leaders of the Shanghai District young single adults, so for district conference this weekend (like stake conference) they offered to have everyone together to tour Shanghai on Saturday and go to meetings on Sunday. We are technically in the Skype CCID branch, but anyone was allowed to come.

We have a lot of friends in Zhenjiang, Nanjing, and Shanghai, and Blythe (the friend in Shanghai) graciously allowed all of us to come crash at her apartment for the festivities. There's a group of us that bonded on the Beijing trip and we've basically stuck together ever since (as well as we can in a country with a sixth of the world's population)! Her apartment is in a gated community, but don't get any misguided ideas that it's anything like America. It is a super quality apartment for China, though! Shelby and I arrived late Friday night, or should I say Saturday morning, and we probably should have crashed but we ended up staying up till two in the morning catching up and telling stories about Irishmen and Pooptown.

In the morning, exhausted and sticky with ever-present dewy air, we departed to the subway to meet up with all the other young single adults in Shanghai. We were so grateful to be able to meet up with lots of people from our arrival tour and a lot more people doing study abroad at BYU! I can't say I've ever been more excited in my life to be surrounded by white people for two days. Plus there's infinitely more foreigners in Shanghai than Pooptown, so the creepy stares and sly photographing of us were decreased by tenfold. I can appreciate that immensely.

The church even paid for most of it, which is lovely in itself. First we went to a museum (THAT'S a loose term) which involved walking into an authentic Chinese home (also a loose term) from the forties. It was quaint, but also extremely tiny and a place I would not want to live.

Our little group of friends broke off for lunch and grabbed some fried dumplings and some pastries from a little bakery. Shanghai has such a different feel than Beijing. It smells the same, for sure, but there's something different about it. It's like comparing New York to Chicago. They both have their own attractions and cultures, but they also have a different and distinct feel to them. I found that Shanghai is, for one thing, a heck of a lot more humid, but it also is more relaxed--the people aren't as uptight and the streets are more welcoming in a way I can't describe more succinctly than just that.

We then visited a famous garden that was, to put it simply, beautiful.

We also grabbed an oreo blizzard  on the way out. I've been craving certain American foods. As much as I love the yogurt and dumplings, I still miss pizza and German pancakes.

After the delicious weather-named milkshake, we jumped (literally, in many cases) back on the subway to go to church. They meet in this giant office building in a dome-like area much like a compressed version of the Bountiful bubble (not the ice rink, and it's not a turtle, MILES). Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the seventy and his wife spoke to us for the adult session in the afternoon. It was so good!

Little gems I learned:
- We must be worthy to receive personal revelation--undefiled in our heart and mind
- Concerning marriage: you cannot change the other person. Get used to them instead.
- "The big things are actually the little things"
- Laman and Lemuel lost their willingness to fight--never forget what YOU are fighting for
- "The advesary knows the enormity of his cause. Let's make sure we remember the justness of ours."
- "Being light-minded is different than being light-hearted."

We then changed back into our street clothes and headed off to the Bund. Yes, the Bund. Not to be confused with the bundt, which is a delicious cake shape. The Bund is reminiscent of Times Square. And since I have a fetish of cartwheeling every which way, here's a nice cartwheel for you.
I ended up meeting a bunch of people from BYU! One had a nickin sick mustache, whose name was Troy, and I thought of Uncle Troy's fantastic goatee! Needless to say, I haven't forgotten Mustache Troy's name. I also met someone from Rupert, Idaho, who ended up being cousins with someone I worked with at my properties job. I also met Greg Tanner's brother, Marcus, who Kelsi knows from the MTC. It was lovely and refreshing to have legitimate connections with these people.

And it's bizarre to think that we are somehow connected to every single person in this world, however distant they may be.

We rode a ferry around THE BUND and ended up walking up and down the long strips of shops. Our magnificent little group was cravin' some America, so we stopped by the classy sit-down restaurant of Pizza Hut for some deep dish quality. I've never visited a Pizza Hut, or any pizza place for that matter, with that much class. MMMM!! I satisfied my pizza craving and I feel a hundred percent better. When we came out of the restaurant, it was raining. Yeah, it might have been acid rain. But that's not going to stop me from enjoying the warm rain in my already wet hair (from the humidity)! The ground was enjoyable slippery, so Jon and I spent a quality amount of time running and sliding across the tiled ground like we were two years old and running across the wood floor in slippery socks.

The next morning we went to conference. After listening to the speakers, a small group of us were fortunate enough to be able to partake of the sacrament in a small side room. I have never before taken the sacrament with such gratitude and hope in my heart. What a blessing it is to have so many worthy priesthood holders throughout the world who can administer an ordinance to us that will purge us from our sins of the past week and endow us with power to resist temptations for the coming week. Though my mind is swimming with simple English and Chinese words and I can't write my thoughts with the eloquence I wish to, suffice it to say that I am more grateful than ever for the sacrament.

This is the point in my posts where I get a bit A.D.D., so in a nutshell, we hit up the Shanghai Zoo and rode an elephant (NBD) and went to the French Concession, which is like some epic shopping. We even got some Indian food which was DELISH.

Shanghai = the greatest.

Or maybe the Great Escape.

At any rate, we skipped out on Pooptown for it, and it was the best decision ever.