You live here TOO?!!!?!

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Pooptown, there lived a girl (I hate to be too explicit here, but that girl was me). And that girl woke up in the middle of the night (two in the a.m.) because she is extremely ill (at least in my head it feels extreme) and was coughing so hard she could no longer sleep. What does the ill-fated girl do?

Obviously hop on the Internet to once again see that nobody has emailed her.

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the incredible friends and family she has, sending her about four emails. What a sweet tender mercy! Even when you're sick in a different country trying to sleep on a wooden slat with pillows filled with Puffed Rice cereal and you cough your lungs up every three seconds, the Lord will find a way to bless you. So thank you for the emails! I'll write back to you in the morning when I'm NOT teaching :) Haha.

But I did get my schedule from Flat Top this afternoon, and it looks like I rotate every other week teaching the ENTIRE eighth and seventh grades. Did I mention this middle school has over 5000 students? Davis High times two, and I'm teaching 65% of it. At least I'll be teaching? I start school on Monday.

Speaking of this weekend, RISE AND SHOUT COUGARS! WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!! I'm stoked. Wish I could be there with everyone! Be wise in your cheering, but GO BYU!!! I'm not gonna lie. I miss football games. BYU games are EPIC. Even last year, when we were terrible.

So the other day, when we were walking home from the market, yet another civilian flags us down with their eyes and nearly crashes into something with their bike as they do fourteen double takes to see that we are indeed foreigners. The man slams on his breaks and swings his bike over to the curb as awkwardly as a duck might (if ducks did indeed ride bikes) and grins from ear-to-ear as he turns to say,

HEEELLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh. Wow. Sir. Did you by chance learn English from a feminine man or did you add your own flair to the English language? The amount of dipthongs and accompanying large-toothed smiles with a sassy head-bob is absolutely astonishing. I can't handle myself when Victor--what a fitting name--talks to us. It's the funniest thing I have ever seen.

For those of you who've seen Hot Rod, he's the Asian wannabe incarnated into a Pooptown local.

It is veerrrrryyy nice to finally (you really need to envision the vocal range he's hitting here as he emphasizes each vowel and consonant in the most gay/pedophiliac way possible) meet youuuuu. I am English teacher (are you really?..) at the...PRIMARY SCHOOOOLLL, which (the enthusiasm in this next part can never be over-exaggerated in your head) IS YOUR SAME SCHOOL TOO?!

Oh yes. We teach here.

Do YOU (insert Michael Jackson voice pop) liiiivveeee heeerreeee toooooo?!

Um. --Awkward avoidance of question--

Yes we live at the school.

MEEEE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Maybe sometime, I be your Chinese teacher and maybe make you food I can cook?!

Haaahahhawkwardreliefsocietylaugh mayybbeee (not a chance)

GOOOODDD!!!!!! Today, ees verrry good day! BECAUSE I HAVE MET YOU!

Ha.?

I think you are verrrry beautiful and so excited be....ASSOCIATES together!

Yeahhhh. We have to go.

OKAY! SEE YOU SOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!

Yeah see ya never!


I skipped the four hour expositional dialogue in which he told us about his English teacher at his university and how he can teach us Chinese and how he got our number, but you get the point. Bizarre, right? We still haven't nicknamed him. But when it comes, it's gonna be golden.

What. A. Man.